The time was 8:10 pm Melbourne, 5:10 pm Singapore. My phone rang thrice before I answered. The hesitation was due to thought of candidates of who would be calling. A glimpse at the phone showed, “Mak” which is Mum. I answered like I always do, opening with the ‘assalamulaikum’ greeting. She answered unusually soft. After answering my greeting she uttered my name in a pre crying mode, “Shhhahrin.....”. It followed by a pause.

My mind started to wander on bad things judging by what is to come. The pause lasted 2 seconds. After the 2 seconds wait, what is to come is more painful than the 2 seconds wait. He announced that Grandpa has left us. The tone on that was not of pre stage anymore. It took awhile to register as my body started getting weak and tears rolled down uncontrollably. She ended the call asking me to pray for him. It hit me tremendously bad as I have this attachment with my grandpa.

I wish I am not here but to be beside him as he took his final breath. Why am I not there by his side?

The last time I visit him was the day before I flew back to Melbourne, which was about 8-9 months ago. Since then I will get updates from my parents or cousins on him. I even told my cousin to send him my message to stay strong while he was hospitalised recently. At least stay strong till I return.

The initial plan is that I would visit him straight after I touched down. But the plan will be altered now, location wise.  His visit will be a priority and I will do that the day after, on the 16^th of November. I want him to know how I feel and how much I love and miss him.

At this moment, I would like the exams to finish so I can head home.  I want to be there for my parents, especially my dad who just lost his dad. I really hope he is strong. I want to be there for my aunties who need to be strong as well.

“
Grandpa, I love you very much and hope you leave us with a clear and peaceful mind. I will miss you a lot. As much as I want to be on your side to embrace you, I could not because I am away from you. Abundance of prayers will be dedicated to you. As much as we love you, GOD loves you more as HE wants you to return to HIM, your creator. Last but not least, I am going to miss you.
 

Your Grandson, Arin
”

Since theres no cookies and cakes for hari raya this year for me, i've decided to explore the craft of baking. Baking is no joke, i tell u. Not easy and quite tiring. Now i know how my mum feels when baking for hari raya. I won't be ambitious but 3 types of cookies sound achievable. The 3 are:

·         Chocolate chip and macadamia nuts cookie

·         Pineapple tart

·         Sugi cookie

So far i’ve tried 2 of them and it’s a good progress. Am happy with the outcome. Hari raya have never been more meaningful than this. There is an option for me to celebrate it by it is but i chose to spice it up which i feel very satisfying. Second year running celebrating without my family is not easy but then again, sacrifice has to be made.  This Tuesday is the last fasting day and it signals hari raya on Wednesday. Can’t wait for this momentous occasion to arrive. Selamat Hari Raya to all.

I am feeling kind of dejected.
Over a handful of unreplied messages.
Feeling quite disappointed.
Its about time I'll stop messaging.
Coz that way, I won't expect any reply.
Hence I won't have disappointment.
Time, I let you decide, I'll step aside.

Look what I have drawn.....

I realise I am slowly becoming and Ah pek. A modern one not the typical one. Bumming around at home is my everyday routine. I go out only when I got rugby training, that's all. That's bad. Talking about Ah peks, let me differentiate the two for you and let you compare.

Typical Ah pek
-Wake up early in the morning
-Sometimes do some hand exercise on the corridor or in front of the window
-Bathing is optional
-Gear up in the Ah pek singlet or top and shorts and those Ah pek legend slippers
-Go to the nearest coffee shop and order teh or kopi
-On the way to coffeshop grab some newpapers which he will religiously read and analyze (favourite section will be 4-D results)
-Spend hours at the coffee shop waiting for fellow Ah peks to join
-Chatting about latest happening around the neighbourhood and around the region.
-More teh or kopi will be ordered

Modern Ah pek
-Does not wake up in the morning, only wakes up when he wants to
-Do some stretching on the bed to be wide awake
-Bathtime after that
-Wear whatever is there and which is comfortable
-Head in front of the computer
-On the way to the computer, grab a glass of milk
-Surf the internet for news and happenings around the world (favourite section will  be sports)
-Not waiting for anybody, sometimes boredom kicks in hence youtubing
-Chat with whoever is available in MSN
-No need to go elsewhere coz normally all the snacks are surround around the computer

There you go... Quite an analysis huh....

By the way, for your info, I've chopped off my hair.( Btw, fyi, i've chopped off my hair) It's interesting how short forms work these days....

Jason Mraz Lyrics
I'm yours Lyrics

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Current Mood

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discontent

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Date : 24th June 2008
Occasion: Visit of "princess" Diana 

Yes!! she finally came to visit. I was so excited that day. Its been ages since i last meet her. And to meet her here in Melbourne makes it so significant. Brought her around Melbourne. Shopping, Lunching, Viewing, Dinner and Ice Cream. Oh! and a lot of tramming and walking. She had very little sleep after touching down. She looks tired yet she go on. Very admirable. The pictures are below for viewing. Actually, I am so happy that day i didn't even get to express it. And when the day ends, sadness fills. Truthfully i don't want the day to end. Well, Everything has to end. Will be looking forward to another visit from you, Nana. Now i can only reminisce the times. Best day so far. Suddenly the tommorrow becomes yesterday.

[	Current Mood	|	sad	]
[	Current Music	|	I still believe - Mariah Carey	]

The first drawing was an attempt to draw Emre from Turkey since its Euro Fever
Second one took me an hour to draw the wolf.
And second one is my personal favorite so far.
And i thought the castle is the hardest.

Be reminded that all the drawings drawn using Paint and a normal mouse. Seriously!
Cheers Mate! Enjoy!

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creative

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The first drawing took me about 20 mins to draw. 
Panda is the in-thing now so thats the first thing come to my mind.
Second one took me an hour to sketch just the outlines.
The last one is with shadings.

And all the drawings are drawn using a normal mouse. Seriously!
(Using Paint)

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cold

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Exams are around the corner yet my brains have not register the urgency it needs. Days were spent resting and worrying other things. This coming exams feels very different from the last. At least the last one guaranteed me a ticket home. This one lack of that kind of motivation. Endurance is testing me.

The month November never look so festive before. Normally its December that i am looking forward to. 

Studying here have been extremely hard. Its much different from the Poly experience i had. Back then, I can depend on my friends to work towards assignments and exams preparation together. But now, i lack of that kind of friends. That is why i need my Ichibawa. But then again, its time for me to be independant. Lets just see how i did for exams. Stay tune altho this blog is rarely updated.

Chasing Pavements

Should i give up or should i just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere..... 
Would it be a waste even if i knew my fate?
Should i leave it there?
Should i give up or should i just keep on chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere..... 

Home made pizza - Jamie Oliver, step aside

12 apostles

The only country that have this sign

Their population of cows is more than the population of New Zealand

Tickets to watch footie in Telstra dome - Thats not goreng pisang, its donuts

Its damn close to the pitch and the pitch look tempting

Feeding the roos - I am a bit scared to be honest

The sign says it all in all wittiness